Medical Log :: Profile :: Quotes
The seven years of Deep Space Nine has yielded many memorable stories and quotes. Some of the best involve Dr. Bashir with Chief O'Brien or Garak. Be sure to [ suggest ] any you may have to contribute.
| Season 6 | Season 7 |
[ Season 1 ]
Julian: |
This will be perfect! Real...frontier medicine. |
Julian: |
Out here in the frontier, it's just one adventure after another. |
Sisko: |
Keep them happy. |
Julian: |
Nothing makes them happy! They are dedicated to being unhappy, and to spreading that unhappiness around wherever they go. They are the Ambassadors of Unhappy! |
[ Season 2 ]
Garak: |
I am no more a spy than you are... |
Julian: |
...a doctor. |
Garak: |
I don't make the rules. |
Julian: |
But you do play the game, don't you, Garak? |
Julian: |
A bite on the hand is certainly worth saving a boy's life, don't you think? |
Garak: |
I suppose it depends on whose hand... just joking, Doctor. |
Julian: |
[To Jadzia] My replicator or yours? |
Julian: |
[To Odo] I've prescribed rest because it's hard for a doctor to go wrong with that one. |
Garak: |
Doctor, has anyone ever told you that you are an infuriating pest!?! |
Julian: |
Chief O'Brien ALL the time, and I never pay any attention to HIM either! |
Julian: |
I hope you don't have one of those little bugs hidden in my quarters. |
Odo: |
Should I? |
Julian: |
[referring to a plant] In my expert medical opinion, I'd say it's...sick. |
Jadzia: |
I know that, but why is it sick? |
Julian: |
I'm a doctor, not a botanist. |
Garak: |
Tell me, Doctor, is anyone else in Starfleet as brash as you? |
Julian: |
I couldn't say...but probably not. |
Julian: |
So what have you have told me were true? |
Garak: |
All of it! |
Julian: |
Even the lies? |
Garak: |
Especially the lies! |
Julian: |
If you're not a spy ... maybe you're an outcast. |
Garak: |
Or maybe I'm an outcast spy. |
Julian: |
How can you be both? |
Garak: |
I never said I was either. |
Julian: |
Before you can be loyal to another you must be loyal to yourself... |
Garak: |
And who can we thank for those misguided words of wisdom? Sarek of Vulcan? |
Julian: |
Actually, it was Bashir--of Earth. |
Garak: |
With sentiments like those, you wouldn't last for five seconds on Cardassia. |
Julian: |
Would you? |
[ Season 3 ]
Julian: |
How many games of racquetball have we played in the last two months? |
O'Brien: |
I don't know... 15, maybe 20? |
Julian: |
Try 70; I've been keeping track of that, too. And you know what all those games have proved to me? That I'm a poor substitute for you wife. |
O'Brien: |
I could 'a told you that 60 games ago. |
O'Brien: |
You'd rather play a game of racquetball? |
Julian: |
Chief, since Keiko's been on Bajor we've played 106 games of racquetball. |
O'Brien: |
Right. So throw a dart. |
O'Brien: |
But I bet there are doctors all over the Federation saying: Julian Bashir? Who the hell is he? |
Garak: |
I thought you liked mysteries. |
Julian: |
I do, Earth mysteries. [...]The enigma stories would be more exciting if the outcome wasn't always the same -- The suspects are always guilty. |
Garak: |
[...]The challenge is finding which suspect did exactly what. |
Julian: |
...I keep hearing voices. |
O'Brien: |
And he thinks we're acting strangely. |
Jadzia: |
[To Julian] So...if you're in a coma, and we're not real, then what are we doing here? |
Kira: |
[To Julian] Ha! A paranoid (points to Odo), a coward (points to O'Brien), a hot-rod (points to Dax)-- you could've dreamed up better company. |
Sisko: |
[Looks up after administering first aid] Just doing my job. |
Julian: |
No you're not, you're doing my job -- what's more, you're doing it as well as I can. You represent my professionalism. |
Sisko: |
I'm flattered, doctor. |
Old Julian: |
I haven't worked on a two dimensional control panel in a long time. How did we ever manage? |
Old Jadzia: |
We always seemed to muddle through somehow. |
Old Julian: |
Pulse threading, blood pressure steadily lowering -- I'm dying. |
O'Brien: |
I could've told you that just by looking at you. |
Old Julian: |
Just give up? I don't think so! |
Garak: |
[To Julian] ... and what I find interesting is how your mind ended up casting me in the role of the villain! [...] To think, after all this time, all our lunches together, you still don't trust me. There's hope for you yet, doctor. |
[ Season 4 ]
Julian: |
I can't belive you're not pressing charges. |
Garak: |
Constable Odo and Captain Sisko expressed similar concerns but really doctor, there was no harm done. |
Julian: |
They broke seven of your transverse ribs and fractured your clavicle. |
Garak: |
Ah, but I got off several cutting remarks which no doubt did serious damage to their egos. |
Julian: |
Garak, this isn't funny. |
Garak: |
I'm serious doctor. Thanks to your administrations, I'm almost completely healed but the damage I did to them will last a lifetime. [Talking about Klingons] |
O'Brien: |
Dr. Julian Bashir, Lt. Cmdr. Worf. |
Julian: |
Care for a game of darts? |
Worf: |
I do not play games. |
O'Brien: |
It's like poker, but with pointed tips. Allll-right then, think of it as target practice. |
Julian: |
The object is to throw this dart and hit that board over there. |
O'Brien: |
Aim for the dot in the middle. |
Odo: |
Doctor, if a Klingon were to kill me, I'd expect nothing less than an entire opera on the subject. |
Jadzia: |
A year ago, I would have thought you were trying to be a hero. |
Julian: |
And now? |
Jadzia: |
Now, I realize... it was just a stupid thing to do. |
Julian: |
Ah, you're welcome. |
Jadzia: |
If you don't mind my saying, Julian, that's a very strange fantasy. |
Julian: |
It's been a long time since I had that particular fantasy. |
Jadzia: |
Oh? |
Julian: |
You sound disappointed. |
Jadzia: |
Julian! |
Julian: |
That's right. You enjoyed being chased and now you miss it. |
Jadzia: |
That's preposterous! And if you start chasing me again-- |
Julian: |
Don't worry, Jadzia, now that I know you liked it, I don't need to, do I? |
Garak: |
So, what do we do now? |
Julian: |
I'm thinking. |
Garak: |
Think faster! |
Garak: |
Is that your plan? |
Julian: |
Shut up! |
Garak: |
Kiss the girl, get the key. They never taught us that in the Obsidian Order. |
Julian: |
Is it just me, or do the stars shine a little brighter in the Gamma Quadrant? |
Jadzia: |
Is it just me, or has Julian lost his mind? |
Julian: |
I prefer to confront mortality, rather than hide from it. |
Julian: |
Those little points of light out there...the great Unknown beckoning to us. |
Julian: |
There's no cure for the Blight. The Dominion made sure of that. And I was so arrogant I thought I could cure it in a week. |
O'Brien: |
Maybe that was arrogant. But it's even more arrogant to say that there is no cure, just because you couldn't find it. |
[ Season 5 ]
Julian: |
You're positively glowing. |
Kira: |
Oh, really. |
Julian: |
I think so, but I suppose my opinion doesn't really count. |
Kira: |
Oh it counts. Don't forget, this is your fault. |
Julian: |
My fault? |
Kira: |
You performed the transfer from Keiko to me. |
Julian: |
After you volunteered. |
Kira: |
After you put the idea in my head. |
Julian: |
After you flew the Runabout into an asteroid field. |
Kira: |
After you insisted we check on those anomalous bioscans. |
Julian: |
That was Keiko! |
Kira: |
Yes it was, but I'd rather blame you. |
Julian: |
Whatever makes you happy. I never argue with my patients or my commanding officer. |
Julian: |
[To Quark and Grilka] Never mind; I don't need that particular image running around in my head. I'll just treat you. |
Julian: |
[To Jadzia and Worf] I don't need that image, either; in fact, I'm going to stop asking that question altogether. People can come in, I will treat them, and that's all. |
Julian: |
I think I've seen enough. Let's get you back to sickbay. |
Julian: |
Whattley? That was my great-grandmother's name. |
O'Brien: |
Funny. |
Julian: |
And I think she was in Starfleet. |
O'Brien: |
Why? That's a common enough name. |
Julian: |
But what if that was her? |
O'Brien: |
Do you realize the odds? |
Julian: |
No one ever met my great-grandfather... this could be a predestination paradox! God, Chief, surely you took elementary temporal mechanics at the Academy... I could be destined to fall in love with that woman and become my own great-grandfather! |
O'Brien: |
You're being ridiculous! |
Julian: |
Ridiculous! If I don't meet with her tomorrow I may never be born! |
Kira: |
[Over comm badge] Chief, are you ready for transport? |
O'Brien: |
Are we ever! |
Julian: |
You saw the way she looked at me! You can't just dismiss this! |
O'Brien: |
I can try. |
Julian: |
All right. Fine. But I can't wait to get back to Deep Space Nine and see your face when you find out that I never existed! |
Sisko: |
In the old days, operations officers wore red, command officers wore gold... |
Jadzia: |
And women wore less. |
Julian: |
I think I'm going to like history. |
Julian: |
All right. Fine. But I can't wait to get back to Deep Space Nine and see your face when you find out that I never existed! |
O'Brien: |
[To Julian] Just think Julian, if this thing works you'll be able to irritate hundreds of people you've never even met. [chuckles] |
Holo-Julian: |
Please state the nature of the medical emergency. |
Zimmerman: |
Oh, that's original. |
Julian: |
What do you want me to do? |
Zimmerman: |
Just stand there and look like a doctor. If you can! |
Julian: |
[To his father] Jules Bashir died in that hospital because you couldn't live with the shame of a son who didn't measure up! |
Julian: |
[To Quark] The word you are looking for is 'unnatural', meaning not from nature. 'FREAK' or 'MONSTER' would also be acceptable! |
Julian: |
She's a female, Rom, and the one constant in the universe is, females are trouble! |
O'Brien: |
So, Julian, how's the Intelligence business? |
Julian: |
Oh, I can't talk about it. All I can do is read these reports, and analyses, and analyses of analyses, and keep my mouth shut about it. So, I have to walk around the station looking like I--you really don't care, do you? |
O'Brien: |
No, Julian, I don't. |
Julian: |
[To General Martok] If you really want to thank me, don't come in here dripping blood anymore--it takes days to get it out of the carpet! |
[ Season 6 ]
O'Brien: |
What are you laughing about? You're as small as I am! |
Julian: |
Actually, you are sitting 1.5 meters closer to the singularity, which makes you point three percent smaller than I am. |
Julian: |
This conduit's filthy. Don't you ever clean up in here? |
Jadzia: |
All right, all right, let's not badger the Chief. |
O'Brien: |
Thank you! |
Julian: |
I'm sorry. That was rather [smirks] small of me. |
Julian: |
What's the point? You can't play Tongo -- it'll take you another century to beat Quark. |
O'Brien: |
I can't, but you can -- with that genetically engineered brain of yours. |
Julian: |
But I just learned the rules! |
O'Brien: |
In 5 seconds flat! |
Julian: |
[rises] "No, Chief. It's your obsession, not mine. |
O'Brien: |
Do it for latinum. |
Julian: |
Ha, nice try. |
O'Brien: |
Do it for the look on Quark's face when he is beaten at Tongo by a lowly hu-man. |
Julian: |
[sits] "Deal the cards. |
[ Season 7 ]
Yet to come!
[ Return to top ]
 |
||
 Episode Guide
|
||
 |
||